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A Unique Rationale for a Bank Robbery

September 8, 2016

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We don’t often post about crimes against banks, especially when they involve clients, but this story out of Kansas City deserves a wider audience.

A 70-year-old man is charged with robbing a Kansas City bank (located just down the street from the police headquarters), after handing a note to a teller indicating that he had a gun and demanding money.  He then proceeded to take the money and a seat in the bank lobby.

When I say he took a seat, I don’t mean he physically removed a chair, but rather that he simply sat down.

His rationale appears to be that he would prefer to live in a jail cell than with his wife, with whom he he’d had an argument.

You can read more about it in the Kansas City Star.

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Are You Thinking Outside the Box?

February 22, 2016

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Are You Thinking Outside the Box?

February 22, 2016

Authored by: Robert Klingler

Unity Bank in New Jersey is taking advertising to a new extreme. Enjoy your day.

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And You Thought Bankers Had it Bad…

October 5, 2015

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As lawyers regularly representing community banks, we are frequently reminded of the level of regulatory scrutiny and intrusion experienced by the industry, and at times the almost laughable results of strained regulatory interpretations.  However, I think our health care lawyer colleagues may have us beat.

As explained in this Bryan Cave client alert on the Regulatory Guidance and Legal Implications Associated with the Transition to ICD-10, physicians and other health care providers are required to use an official system of assigning codes to diagnoses in the United States for billing and record keeping of health care services.  Effective October 1, 2015, the ICD-10 code set replaced the former ICD-9 code set.  The ICD-10 set includes over 68,000 diagnoses, and to say they are expansive and detailed significantly understates any rational interpretation of those concepts.

Here are a few examples of actual ICD-10 codes that are now available to physicians today:

  • Struck By Turtle (W59.22XA)
  • Spacecraft collision injuring occupant (V95.43XS)
  • Swimming pool of prison as the place of occurrence of the external cause (Y92.146)
  • Pecked by chicken, initial encounter (W61.33XA)
  • Burn due to water-skis on fire, initial encounter (V91.07XA)
  • Art gallery as the place of occurrence of the external cause (Y92.250)
  • Opera house as the place of occurrence of the external cause (Y92.253)
  • Problems in relationship with in-laws (Z63.1)

I’m not sure what you’re supposed to report if the patient is struck by a turtle thrown by an in-law, but please reach out to us if you have a bank regulatory question.

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Latest Opponent to Banking Industry – Darth Vader

August 1, 2010

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2010 has been a rough year for many banks. Continued economic malaise, stagnant (at best) real estate values, harsh regulatory examinations, compliance with enforcement actions and the political battle over regulatory reform has caused many sleepless nights in the industry.  However, on July 22, 2010, things appear to have gotten even worse for the industry, as the Empire started its ground war against banks.

As seen in the image below, Darth Vader, presumably in an effort to obtain funds to complete the latest Death Star, robbed a bank branch in New York on the morning of July 22, 2010.

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Miscellaneous TARP Stories

Miscellaneous TARP Stories

January 26, 2010

Authored by: Robert Klingler

We’ve identified a number of stories that or posts that never quite made it into individual BankBryanCave.com posts.  Rather than continuing to hold on to them, I’ve assembled them here.

The Simpsons

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TARP Plan B

June 26, 2009

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TARP Plan B

June 26, 2009

Authored by: Robert Klingler

The Peabody award-winning Onion News Network provides this exclusive look at the administration’s latest plan to save the U.S. economy.

If unsuccessful (despite the testimonials), we expect the Treasury’s next move may be to “Get Cash Now” through conversion of the TARP preferred structured settlements using JG Wentworth.

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An Internet Guide to TARP

February 22, 2009

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An Internet Guide to TARP

February 22, 2009

Authored by: Robert Klingler

I don’t know where this originated from, but I’ve received it from multiple sources and laughed each time.  I hope you enjoy this pictorial take on the Troubled Asset Relief Program (click on the picture for the full set).

A Pictorial History of TARP

As a side note, the pictures appear to be the newest iteration of an internet hoax.

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Happy Thanksgiving Week

November 23, 2008

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Happy Thanksgiving Week

November 23, 2008

Authored by: Bryan Cave Leighton Paisner

First, a couple new jokes:

Q. What giant beasts are currently stalking the financial markets?
A. TARPosaurus and T-Reas.

Q. What is their favorite meal?
A. Lame duck.

Q. What’s the next car coming off the U.S. assembly line?
A. The new GMC TARP…gets one mile per 25 billion gallons.

And just in time for Thanksgiving—a simple potluck dish that’s easy to make and feeds billions.

TARP Casserole

  1. Mix 1% to 3% of everything you own in a large bowl.
  2. Sift contents through regulatory strainer.
  3. Deduct up to 500,000 cups of executive compensation.
  4. Whip thousands of bankers, lawyers and analysts into a frenzy and blend in.
  5. Garnish with shredded cash.
  6. Bake at 250 billion degrees to desired degree of doneness.

Makes enough to lend to your neighbors.  Goes great with Warrant Surprise.

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TARP Jokes

TARP Jokes

November 6, 2008

Authored by: Bryan Cave Leighton Paisner

Q. What did Treasury use to put the Capital Purchase Program together?
A. Duct TARP.

Q. What do you call a bank that’s been turned down by Treasury?
A. TARPooned!

Q. What is a banker’s favorite breakfast food?
A. PopTARPs.

Q. What do you use to remove a bad loan from your books?
A. TARPentine.

Q. Knock Knock
A. Who’s There?
Q. TARP
A. [DOOR SLAMMED IN FACE]

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Last Minute Halloween Costume

October 31, 2008

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Last Minute Halloween Costume

October 31, 2008

Authored by: Robert Klingler

  1. Get a dropcloth or old tablecloth
  2. Put it over your head
  3. Pin a dollar bill to the front (or make a fake $700-billion dollar bill)
  4. Now you’re the TARP program.

Warning #1:  If you’re attending a party with non-bankers/non-lawyers, people may just think you’re a ghost with your cab fare pinned to you in case you get drunk.

Warning #2:  Once you tell them who you are, you may find yourself in the “nerd corner” having an exclusive party of your very own.

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